breathe

Often times, in order to see how broken we are, we are pushed to our very limits. We feel as though we might snap directly in half due to the pressing weight and constant anxiety that relentlessly weighs on our hearts paired with the crippling worry of today. 
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"What does it mean to be still?"

I have wrestled with this question for the majority of my life. The numb weight that pulses with every beat of my heart, becomes overbearing to the point I can't seem to feel anything. I become completely and utterly numb. Numb to the world around me and everything seems surreal. With this global pandemic that we are facing, many of us are having trouble tasting the reality of it. Trust me the restrictions are real and the disappointment is there and valid. 
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Look at this dandelion I found today while I was on a walk, it's shriveling up. Dandelions are often seen as a weed and unwanted in your friendly neighbor's yard. So, your neighbor puts certain chemicals in the grass so that not a single blemish may be found. We long for the shining and spotless white roses that cover our lawn but are stuck with the beaming dandelions, we are left amongst the weeds. 
Rather than seeing this shriveling weed, I challenge you to change your perspective, see the center; look into the very core of the dandelion. There is a constant color, a constant yellow, there are highlights amongst it but it is a constant color of yellow. See the weed, in its color, see this flower, as it withers around the edges, breath in the sweet milky scent that it has to offer. Breathe in the life that lingers there. 
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Last week I had the opportunity to watch a Red Rock's Worship night from my basement and was able to partake in their worship night in Colorado. During the service, Kory Miller shared what God had laid on his heart that week prior. 

He asked, "Lord, what do you want to say?" 

As he continued to lay a foundation for the revelation he was about to share, the phrase, be still and know, continuously rang through my mind. Miller shared one word that struck a chord, this word is one that we say and do so effortlessly but lately, it feels as though we have to consciously remind ourselves to BREATHE. Not just an act of inhaling oxygen but breathing in the author and perfector of our faith. Breathing in the one who made the very dandelion that we often dread. The weed, the unwanted pain of blemish that takes over the longed-for and expected green grass. 
There are many things that I have had to let go of this past week and a half that I never imagined wouldn't happen. Being a senior, there are dreaded possible cancelations that might take place approximately in five weeks. I have come to realize that, the very breathe we breathe is a gift, this breathe that the Lord has given me, I don't want to waste it wishing for something that in the end will not satisfy my soul. 
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Psalm 62: 1-2 says, "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him, truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I shall never be shaken." In this time of uncertainty, and anxiety, know that the one who holds the stars is holding your heart. He promises to renew all of our strength. He longs for you to quiet your soul, to be still and know that he is good; to breathe him in. As the very globe seems to spiral out of control and into complete chaos, know that the one who holds every star, placed every dandelion, dances with us through life, holds your heart if you be still, breathe and let him. 
To be still and know is to breathe. He is able to let you breathe, he holds your very soul in the palm of his hand, breath in your heavenly father. Be still and know that he is good. 
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"Trust in Him at all times, you people pour out you're hearts to Him for God is our refuge." ~ Psalm 62:8 ~